This is gonna be a long post so you better go get yourself a beverage of choice and a snack cos you might be here for a while.
Ya'll ready for this?
Firstly, a little background. Michelle has Glio Blastoma Multiforme. Brain Tumour. She's had chemo, medication and surgery - all of which have not worked. The USA doctors have said there's nothing more they can do. Because of this, Michelle started making her final preparations - will, power of attorney etc. She also asked Alecz and I to take her boys and raise them as our own after she passes. We didn't even hesitate. Of course. They are family afterall. We committed ourselves to the care and raising of her three boys, along with our three young girls, and Alecz's wonderful son and 2 beautiful daughters.
So, still with me? Good.
Next comes the rearranging of our lives. We only lived in a small 3 bedroom house - so of course we start looking everywhere for a nine (yes nine) bedroom house. That took us nearly 12 months. We take our girls and combine two households into one (with my mum) and move into this huge house, ready for them to come. Then we're told that the medical visa Michelle applied for has been denied because immigration decided she couldn't afford to support herself and the kids and her mum and pay for medical expenses on the money she said she'd be getting. (What immigration failed to take into account was that we would be helping them out with that.) And it was a case of one fail - all fail. So they decide to come over on a visitor's visa and then once here apply for a visa that allows them to stay. Which, just for the reader's info - is illegal.
So now we are faced with them coming over in mid November. That's ok, we're in the house, we've got the room - we've got boxes everywhere but we've got room. But wait, plans change. Flight times change and all of a sudden they're coming within the week. So now we're faced with the immense task of rearranging and once again changing the plans we'd laid out for the next 4 weeks to a more immediate if not temporary arrangement. Oh and how on earth are we going to transport them and pick them up from the airport?
Still there? Ok.
So Alecz and I go to a commercial car yard and find the perfect vehicle - a 14 seater bus. Yes you read right - a 14 seater Toyota commuter bus. After sitting for almost 90 mins, we're finally at the point where we can put the deposit on it and then sit back and wait. We do this and cross our fingers. But in the meantime we have to hire one for the weekend, when they are due to arrive. This turns out to be easier than we thought. Now we're ready to get them home. At least - to a degree.
Ok a summary. They're coming earlier than we thought, we've changed our entire life's plans, got a massive house to accomodate everyone, started the process of buying a bus even though we're told we need to get a Light Rigid licence, we've frantically fixed the house so that it's livable, and now we're waiting for them to arrive.
They arrive in Cairns and my father waits to greet them and let them zone in to Aussie time while waiting for the connecting flight, the flight that cost me and Alecz over $800 to get them from Cairns to Brisbane, which they promised us they'd pay back. So yea, he's waiting for them and when they arrive he finds out they have 17 pieces of luggage!!!! YES, 17!! And they can't get Jetstar to let them have it for the flight to Brisbane so it has to stay with my dad.
Still with me? Good.
So we head out the next day to pick them up from Brisbane Airport. It's raining, thunder, lightning and windy. When we arrive the rain has abated somewhat - enough time for us to get into the terminal and find them and bring them out to the hire bus. Everything seems ok. We do a little bit of driving that day, take them to KFC/Maccas for lunch - wow that was expensive. We took them up Mount Gravatt to see the city, then we take the hire bus back. That would pretty much be it in the "everyone going somewhere for the day" category.
Back at home, everyone gets into their rooms and it begins - they change everything in the bedrooms because they weren't happy with it. There's boxes everywhere still so they take it upon themselves to go through them and hurry us into moving them or putting them places or whatever. Then they actually start going through all of our stuff. Like it's their own. We are pretty private people, and we don't appreciate it when people stick their noses where it's not welcome, wanted or asked for.
They started to complain about everything. The food wasn't right, it wasn't like america. Why don't we have instant food in a tin? What do you mean you don't have instant bread? I want meatballs - not fresh - frozen. There's not enough this, there's not enough that. What do you mean we can't have 10 different dinners each night - one for each person?
We're in the middle of the biggest drought on record and we are allowed a certain amount of water per person and that entails 4 min showers per person - after the 3rd 25min shower we put our foot down and said one 4 min shower every 3 days - it's not like anyone's doing anything to warrant showering every day.
They were spoken to on several occasions to pick up their act and go with our rules if the boys were supposed to be living with us permanently. They didn't. They spent $85 on one meal the mother cooked for us - which was really not the nicest meal I'd had, but after all the big-noting they had placed on this meal - the youngest boy didn't even eat it all. So they made something else.
It took 45mins to get him to eat 1 yes 1 piece of pizza!!!! They just kept caving in to him and making him something else. Like meatballs...that they bought from the shops....They lived with a CHEF!! How insulting.
They expected us to have 2 sets of rules. One for our kids (who before they came here were wonderfully well behaved girls and after were unruly and hard to control - how can i insist on good behaviour when their boys can get away with murder??)
They were here for Jasmine's birthday. And they ruined it. The youngest boy took it upon himself to climb up on the table and blow out Jasmine's candles before we'd even finished singing "Happy Birthday"!! And the half-hearted attempt to get him to stop by his mother and his grandmother standing there telling us "he just likes to help blow them out" was just NOT good enough. And then he had the audacity to try and open her presents for her and chucked a spac when he wasn't allowed. Because I stepped in and took him down from the table he was again trying to climb up on to do it. And then when she opened her gifts - her aunt was in there trying to actually open the boxes - he insisted that Jazz had to share and that it was his turn and this piece was his and no Jazz couldn't keep all her brand new gifts to herself!!!??? Our rule is that anything you get on your birthday is yours and only yours and you DON'T have to share until you're ready to put the toy out into general circulation. That applies for all our girls, and that's that. His wailing cry and incredible selfishness completely ruined the evening for us.
They made a mess but never tidied. They expected us to work all day then do everything for them for dinner and then sit and bitch and moan about how bad or strange the food was. Because it wasn't fast food or instant from a tin. And it's so different from America. Well DUH!! Seriously what did they expect? They're in a different country with different/better values, rules, people, standards and they had no intention of changing to their new environment. None at all. So of course it was going to be different and confusing and difficult. They didn't even want to try.
And the 3 nearly 4 year old was still sucking on a bottle!!!! You could have knocked me over with a feather! My 3 year old gave up the bottle nearly 12 months ago! And he was so un-disciplined. Given everything he wants as though he was some golden child (which he most definitely was not), while the eldest was left to fend for himself and control his youngest brother while the middle child was ignored completely, except to be yelled at for speaking his mind. Oh the slapping upside the head got to me too. This by the grandmother who was supposed to be the soft caring soul. Yeah right.
For someone who has supposedly lived all over the world and had to adapt to different cultures, she was one of the worst. And the main culprit for going through our things. We'd even gone to the trouble of getting her volunteer time at the workplace that mum and I both work at. And all she could do was tell us how she'd change things more to her liking. Like anyone cared what her liking was.
Hangin in there? Good. We're nearly there.
There was disrespect for us, me and my mother. There was rudeness, conniving , lying, plotting and all out dishonesty. Alecz finally had enough when we were told that the grandmother was sitting on OUR phone (which they never helped pay for) telling whoever it was that I was a bad mother and an evil person and my 8 year old heard her. That was the last straw. The final act of wickedness that we could not look past. And so he went downstairs and told them to pack their things and get out. They didn't even argue or beg to stay. Which if you were dying of cancer and had asked your brother and sister-in-law to take your children to raise as your own - wouldn't you beg to stay? Promise to change? Apparently they didn't think so.
In truth we should have seen it for what it was. 6 Americans trying to get a free holiday and screw over some good honest australian people in the process. The fact that they got the tickets to Cairns for free because of a benefit held for her is another matter. And the fact that so many people in America were gullible enough to be suckered in by their over acting, presumed innocence is also beside the point.
They were supposed to have sold the car and the house to help us out financially. They never did. They were supposed to pay us back for the plane tickets. They never did.
Financially-wise we asked very little - $300 AUD a week for 5 people. That means that that small amount was supposed to cover all their food and the phone and the electricity and the gas and everything else they mounted up. Which just for the record - it didn't cover it.
Still there? Hope so.
Then came a turning point. Or at least another one. They tried telling us that we couldn't buy our girls more presents than the boys because they would compare the amounts...that we had to make sure the boys had the same amount. I mean seriously! Where do they get off telling us what we can and can't spend on OUR kids?? As far as I was concerned they spent on the boys was up to them. But don't you dare tell me what I can spend on MY children. Especially telling me how one year they bought them a tv and dvd player....each....and a stereo system....each. I mean really! I was gobsmacked.
And now they're back in the States, bad-mouthing us to anyone they can say it to. Even Alecz's ex-wife's mother!!! And his ex-wife! Because of course to ruin the kids chances of coming to stay with us would be a mark on their side of the score-board.
Michelle actually rang up Alecz's ex-mother-in-law to bitch and outright lie about us, to cause her to ring his Ex, her daughter and give her hell about us and the fact that the kids are coming to be with us. Unfortunately, they didn't count on us being actually quite close to his ex, me included and the honesty we have between the three of us. Which means that his ex emailed us straight away and told us what was going on over there. Not to mention the fact that we have a lot of contact with her and his kids.
Or the fact that while they were here they could do nothing but badmouth and bitch about her (his ex) and the past with her and Alecz. But see she's told us a few home-truths, both about Michelle and Crystal. So you see, we're one step ahead of them there too. Because we know who his ex is and how she's made her life a better one and we welcome her into our family just as we welcome Alec, Elisabeth and Isabelle.
And frankly, I was afraid that Alecz's kids (my awesome step-kids) and our girls could be corrupted by the badness that is the two of them and the boys. And we don't want them to have anything to do with any of them.
We are good honest, God loving people and we believe that if God lays a path for us we will follow it without question, without doubt, with our whole souls in his hands. The problem is, we always, when we know we're on the right path of God, have a good feeling and positive thoughts about what it is we're doing. This time we didn't. And that should have rung alarm bells in our heads. We did what we believed God asked us to do. Unfortunately this time, they took that and exploited our goodness. And for that we will forgive them, but not forget.
We don't have an extended family anymore. Alecz does not have a mother or sister. The boys were just as bad as their mother and grandmother. But then with them as an example - why would that surprise you. We're done with them. Want nothing to do with them ever again. We will pray for their souls. But now? It's in God's hands and in front of him they will be judged. We did what we could but they threw it in our faces.
Now, I hope they're praying for salvation. Because it won't be coming from us.
